Waiting

We continue to wait on God with Dan's mom and her progress. If you would like to follow the details of her condition, my sister-in-law, Leah (Danielle), has set up a Caring Bridge page for her.

CaringBridge / barbarakaiser2010 / Welcome

The Bottom Line

Dan's long hours are getting ready to get a lot longer at work, and his mom's health continues to hang in the balance.

There is so much I want to say and can't. My heart is full and empty, breaking while healing, hungry but satisfied. I don't really know how to put into words what I feel and so I can't. But I want to try because I want to remember this. I want my kids to remember this, and I want to share it because it's the essence of what I believe.

Dan's mom has been given 4-6 weeks to show some kind of cognitive response, or she will be removed from the hospital and placed into long term care. The family is begging God for a miracle, and we wait. We watch and we wait for life. The story is unfinished.

But I've read the Bible. Our God is a REDEEMER. He is GOOD. I know how HIS stories end. I know they are good.

The day the crash happened I was preparing to go to camp: bills to pay, a yard to mow, and a car to service, but in an instant none of it mattered. For some reason I keep thinking that's what Dan's mom feels right now as she gazes at our Savior's face in that space between life and death.

The fuss and noise of earth are now just a distant hum to her. She knows her Savior is better than anything this life has to offer, and none of it matters in light of Him. She will continue to fight for life in that hospital bed. She's a fighter, and we will fight for and with her. She has so much to live for.

But I also know whom she loves above all. I know that she is watching her Saviour's face and when He gives her the word, she will gladly dash into His arms.

I finally get what it means when the Bible says...
To live is Christ and to die is gain.

One glimpse of eternity with our Blessed Savior and nothing else will seem to matter.

Obedience

If there's on thing I'm learning through this crisis with Dan's mom it's to step out in faith. About a year ago, we were asked to be part of a speaking panel at White Sulphur Springs, the camp for Officers' Christian Fellowship in Pennsylvania. We were to speak on the current challenges facing military families. We agreed to do it not knowing whether Dan's schedule would permit or not. As time drew closer it was apparent that Dan would be gone during our week at WSS. The panel encouraged me to come anyways, as that would only emphasize the current issues we face as military families. Adam and Hilary Thomas, a couple from our Bible study offered to come with me to help on the 8.5 hr car ride (according to mapquest = 13 with kids) and the week without Dan.

Little did I know that Dan would be gone for completely different reasons. Had I been planning on Dan coming, I would never have wanted to go without him on a moment's notice and our friends would not have already been planning on coming along.

I would be lying if I said I was eager to do it. I had nothing to offer but a muddled brain and 3 crazy kids. It was an act of obedience, and it wasn't as if the moment I got into my car it all fell into place. The kids whined for most of the drive; I got a speeding ticket, and sleeping with the kids in one room for the week proved to be quite a challenge. (They loved that part; I hated it.:)) But as we drove into the camp and were welcomed with open arms and compassionate hearts I knew we were in the right place. There was no other palce on earth I would rather have been, then tucked in that body of believers who uplifted us in prayer for most of the week.

At home the squadron had proved to be an unbelievable support along with precious friends I've always treasured. But this was a place where I was physically surrounded with support. All the logistics of meals and activities were taken care of so I could focus on supporting Dan in the crisis instead of figuring out what to feed the kids for their next meal (which is still my least favorite pasttime).

It was an act of obedience without real clarity as to why God would call me or what I had to offer, but on the other side it is blatantly obvious why he sent me there. He wanted to wrap his loving arms around me through the loving believers there. So in offering my widow's mite of faith, I'm finding God knows what he is doing and I'm learning to trust him.

P.S. Adam and Hilary: You are up for the sainthood! I am never taking another family vacation without you:). I'm serious!

The roller coaster

Never in my life have the highs and lows been so high and low. Doctors with mixed messages, hope and pain mixed with medical counsel and faith. Dan's mom has developed an infection that looks like it may be meningitis. They are gonna try to fight this at this point, two doctors with two totally different opinions helped the family make this decision. One gave them no hope for recovery (the neurosurgeon) and the other encouraged them to press on and give her a chance to fight (the chief of the intensive care unit). God is sovereign and we eagerly look to him for counsel, hope, and His glory to redeem this.

Thanks for the prayers

Those prayers are working and things are looking better by the hour. At first, Dan's mom was so unstable that they couldn't even do an MRI, but yesterday they were able to do an MRI and it looks like she doesn't have any serious brain damage. She's still in a coma, but they are gonna try to slowly wean her off life support to see what she is able to do on her own. Right after the crash the doctors said her injuries were not survivable, but now they are thinking she may even be able to make a recovery to the extent she could wake up from the coma and be okay. Obviously she has many injuries but we were really scared our only choices were a vegetative state or death. We are cautiously optimistic now.

Please pray!

Please pray for Dan's parents. They were in a plane crash in their private plane today. His dad needs ankle surgery but is okay physically. My mother-in-law is in very critical condition. She has swelling on her brain among other things and needs all of our prayers. Though the doctors are not expecting her to recover, we serve a very big God who has done far greater than this. He is able to redeem the worst of situations, and we believe he will redeem this whether that is on this side of Heaven or not.
kob.com has information on the crash. Click on two in plane crash near Gallup, NM.