Was there ever any doubt ...

This girl's got personality!

Peace on Earth

I could really use a little peace on earth right about now.

Unfortunately, this lump in my throat the size of Texas, and the sick feeling in my stomach keeps reminding me that it hasn't happened yet.

Images on my tv screen of those whose livelihoods have been washed away in the floods of Pakistan.

What do we tell the kids?

Daddy is going to go help them.

While he brings them food. We can pray that God would bring them His peace.

That man really is our live action figure hero... so what do I do about this darn lump in my throat?

TINKERBELL!!!!

It's almost too painful to mention... but Tink has taken to redecorating our entire upstairs. Apparently, she has given another medium, black sharpee marker a try! So in my dear husband's last week before he begins his heinous work schedule, he has been doing a bit of repainting in the kids rooms, in our room, in the hallway, on our door frames, along with cleaning the bathtub, the mirror, and the windows with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It all happened in five minutes after church on Sunday... I think it was premeditated. The sharpees are so not in her reach! I think the only safe option for us at this point is to get a gun safe to store all writing utensils in. I love that girl dearly, but let me just say: today, when she said she needed a little "piracy," let's just say I didn't oblige. And oh, by the way, the word is "privacy," Tink.

Waiting

We continue to wait on God with Dan's mom and her progress. If you would like to follow the details of her condition, my sister-in-law, Leah (Danielle), has set up a Caring Bridge page for her.

CaringBridge / barbarakaiser2010 / Welcome

To my live action figure hero . . .

8 years ago today we promised to hold on for dear life and be married forever, for always, no matter what. It's been the most transformative ride of my life. Nothing has shaped, matured, and enriched me like marriage. You have the most tender of hearts, and toughest of souls. I love you! Happy Anniversary!

While we're on the subject of Peter and his theology . . .

Yesterday, after Peter apologized for a bad attitude, I noticed he was moving his arms in an erasing motion. He's always making strange shooting motions with his arms, but this was a new one to me, so I asked.

"Oh, Mom, I'm erasing my mistake. You said you'd forgive me so I'm erasing all the warnings. I can start over now."

Alrighty then, lesson learned . . . Check.

Quotables

Peter: Ummm, Dad, I got kinda a hard question. How did God get made? . . . Oh, I know maybe the Lord made Him.

And so we are saving now for his all expense paid trip to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he may ponder the deeper things of life.

You can't make these things up...

Tink has taken to a fascination with toilets and things pertaining to them. She's yet to have an accident since her introduction to Tinkerbell and Dora underwear, but that's not to say we are without our share of antics from Tink.

Like when we discovered a huge rock and a rubber duck in the toilet the other day. The Handsome Genius had to have that discussion with Tink. I was laughing too hard in the kitchen. It's another one of those conversations I never imagined overhearing when I first met that man 10 years ago. Never pictured him lecturing a three year old on the ins and outs of why we don't spend our time IN the toilet.

Or the other day when she used . . . let's just say a different "medium" for her wall art. It does come off the wall a lot easier than pink highlighter; I will hand her that, but between highlighter and this I am not sure which one I would prefer her use. I'm now thinking pink highlighters are nice option.

The Bottom Line

Dan's long hours are getting ready to get a lot longer at work, and his mom's health continues to hang in the balance.

There is so much I want to say and can't. My heart is full and empty, breaking while healing, hungry but satisfied. I don't really know how to put into words what I feel and so I can't. But I want to try because I want to remember this. I want my kids to remember this, and I want to share it because it's the essence of what I believe.

Dan's mom has been given 4-6 weeks to show some kind of cognitive response, or she will be removed from the hospital and placed into long term care. The family is begging God for a miracle, and we wait. We watch and we wait for life. The story is unfinished.

But I've read the Bible. Our God is a REDEEMER. He is GOOD. I know how HIS stories end. I know they are good.

The day the crash happened I was preparing to go to camp: bills to pay, a yard to mow, and a car to service, but in an instant none of it mattered. For some reason I keep thinking that's what Dan's mom feels right now as she gazes at our Savior's face in that space between life and death.

The fuss and noise of earth are now just a distant hum to her. She knows her Savior is better than anything this life has to offer, and none of it matters in light of Him. She will continue to fight for life in that hospital bed. She's a fighter, and we will fight for and with her. She has so much to live for.

But I also know whom she loves above all. I know that she is watching her Saviour's face and when He gives her the word, she will gladly dash into His arms.

I finally get what it means when the Bible says...
To live is Christ and to die is gain.

One glimpse of eternity with our Blessed Savior and nothing else will seem to matter.

"Long Live the Lollipop!"

Guess who gave up these...That's right our Tink... gave up these for lollipops and Tinkerbell underwear... If only I had known it would be so easy. We are on day three and there hasn't been an accident yet. There are so many wonderful uses for lollipops. Economy bag of dum dums . . . $2.50; Potty trained toddler . . . Priceless.

Obedience

If there's on thing I'm learning through this crisis with Dan's mom it's to step out in faith. About a year ago, we were asked to be part of a speaking panel at White Sulphur Springs, the camp for Officers' Christian Fellowship in Pennsylvania. We were to speak on the current challenges facing military families. We agreed to do it not knowing whether Dan's schedule would permit or not. As time drew closer it was apparent that Dan would be gone during our week at WSS. The panel encouraged me to come anyways, as that would only emphasize the current issues we face as military families. Adam and Hilary Thomas, a couple from our Bible study offered to come with me to help on the 8.5 hr car ride (according to mapquest = 13 with kids) and the week without Dan.

Little did I know that Dan would be gone for completely different reasons. Had I been planning on Dan coming, I would never have wanted to go without him on a moment's notice and our friends would not have already been planning on coming along.

I would be lying if I said I was eager to do it. I had nothing to offer but a muddled brain and 3 crazy kids. It was an act of obedience, and it wasn't as if the moment I got into my car it all fell into place. The kids whined for most of the drive; I got a speeding ticket, and sleeping with the kids in one room for the week proved to be quite a challenge. (They loved that part; I hated it.:)) But as we drove into the camp and were welcomed with open arms and compassionate hearts I knew we were in the right place. There was no other palce on earth I would rather have been, then tucked in that body of believers who uplifted us in prayer for most of the week.

At home the squadron had proved to be an unbelievable support along with precious friends I've always treasured. But this was a place where I was physically surrounded with support. All the logistics of meals and activities were taken care of so I could focus on supporting Dan in the crisis instead of figuring out what to feed the kids for their next meal (which is still my least favorite pasttime).

It was an act of obedience without real clarity as to why God would call me or what I had to offer, but on the other side it is blatantly obvious why he sent me there. He wanted to wrap his loving arms around me through the loving believers there. So in offering my widow's mite of faith, I'm finding God knows what he is doing and I'm learning to trust him.

P.S. Adam and Hilary: You are up for the sainthood! I am never taking another family vacation without you:). I'm serious!