Stay Tuned

We are traveling an epic journey across the country: DC, Amish country, Wheaton, Laura Ingalls Wilder's birthplace, Black Hills, Mt Rushmore, The Badlands, Yellowstone, and who knows what else…. more of that to come.

Leave of Absence

I've been gone a really long time....

I hadn't been home in 2 years. I knew this visit was going to be special from the second we landed.
My heart raced as I showed the kids the view of the mountains from DIA.
There was something about this trip that made it unique.
Maybe it was the fact that we appreciated life more, because of the startling realities of this year: the cancer returned, the crash happened, countless goodbyes were said.
2010 was a rough year.
That made this visit all the richer.
There is nothing like seeing the roots that God planted you in, go deep.
Long conversations over coffee with the people that know you more than you know yourself.
Cousins acting like siblings rough and tumbling and loving like they've never spent a day apart in their lives.
Sitting in the back seat, letting someone else tell you where you're going.
Someone telling you what is for dinner while they prepare it.
I have an incredible family, and I treasure them more than I think I ever have (and I've always cherished them).
God connected dots for me in my relationship with him that have been unconnected for decades (more about that in days to come).

It was an incredible trip!
Now there is work to do:
It was like God used the last two months to strengthen me for the year to come.
It's gonna be a wild ride... a homecoming, a house on the market, a cross country move to Cali and only the Lord knows what else.
I'm encouraged and ready, clinging to the grace of God and all of His promises in a whole new way.

Labor Day Weekend

Somewhere between the Pakistani relief effort, Dan's parents plane crash, and dad's chemo beginning next week. I was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. One of the things that is the hardest for an independent minded Marine wife to do sometimes is admit that you need something. This weekend I needed ... to laugh... to get away... and to celebrate my little boy who just turned 5. And that we did, with our precious friends in Virginia!. 4 late nights, 2 birthday cakes, 1 Rennaissance festival, and 14 happy kids later, and my heart is full. Sometimes God loves us through our friends. I feel very loved!

Obedience

If there's on thing I'm learning through this crisis with Dan's mom it's to step out in faith. About a year ago, we were asked to be part of a speaking panel at White Sulphur Springs, the camp for Officers' Christian Fellowship in Pennsylvania. We were to speak on the current challenges facing military families. We agreed to do it not knowing whether Dan's schedule would permit or not. As time drew closer it was apparent that Dan would be gone during our week at WSS. The panel encouraged me to come anyways, as that would only emphasize the current issues we face as military families. Adam and Hilary Thomas, a couple from our Bible study offered to come with me to help on the 8.5 hr car ride (according to mapquest = 13 with kids) and the week without Dan.

Little did I know that Dan would be gone for completely different reasons. Had I been planning on Dan coming, I would never have wanted to go without him on a moment's notice and our friends would not have already been planning on coming along.

I would be lying if I said I was eager to do it. I had nothing to offer but a muddled brain and 3 crazy kids. It was an act of obedience, and it wasn't as if the moment I got into my car it all fell into place. The kids whined for most of the drive; I got a speeding ticket, and sleeping with the kids in one room for the week proved to be quite a challenge. (They loved that part; I hated it.:)) But as we drove into the camp and were welcomed with open arms and compassionate hearts I knew we were in the right place. There was no other palce on earth I would rather have been, then tucked in that body of believers who uplifted us in prayer for most of the week.

At home the squadron had proved to be an unbelievable support along with precious friends I've always treasured. But this was a place where I was physically surrounded with support. All the logistics of meals and activities were taken care of so I could focus on supporting Dan in the crisis instead of figuring out what to feed the kids for their next meal (which is still my least favorite pasttime).

It was an act of obedience without real clarity as to why God would call me or what I had to offer, but on the other side it is blatantly obvious why he sent me there. He wanted to wrap his loving arms around me through the loving believers there. So in offering my widow's mite of faith, I'm finding God knows what he is doing and I'm learning to trust him.

P.S. Adam and Hilary: You are up for the sainthood! I am never taking another family vacation without you:). I'm serious!

Home

Home sweet home. There is nothing like traveling to give you a greater appreciation for your home. We have been gone for 7 weeks visiting family across the United States, and we had a great time! The only thing that was slightly troubling was the question Peter asked me just about every night as I tucked him into bed. He would turn to me wondering if we could go back to "Peter's house" sometimes with tears in his eyes. This question always came as a shock. What on earth would drive him to want to go home after the incredibly fun day we had just had? He had laughed himself silly, played himself speechless and had way more fun than anything we had done at home. Nonetheless, every night as we put his little pj's on, he would turn to me again and ask, "Mommy, when can we go home?" There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Peter enjoyed himself to the fullest rough housing with uncles, playing with cousins, parading with grandparents, and loving on his aunts. He had a blast, but somehow he kept his home in the back of his mind as the place where he truly belonged. At first this question came as an offense to me, how could he possibly ask that when he was having so much fun, but after seven weeks of it, it came more as a lesson to me. They say "home is where your heart is." There's no doubt where Pete's is, but where is mine? I say my home is in Heaven and I'm just passing through, but where's my heart?